If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a bad walkout. Whether it’s an inappropriate choice of song in relation to a fighter’s personal brand, or it’s just an outright horrible song, a bad walkout can scar a fighter’s reputation. A bad walkout track may even lead to losses! After all, we talk about an “Eminem Curse” and now a “Drake Curse.” So, that’s where I come in. I am providing my services as a musicologically certified Walkout Consultant to a select group of fighters to help bring their brands to to the next level. Not only that, I’m making it public for your entertainment, dear readers! So, with UFC 203 on deck, let’s look at who needs a change in walkout music.

The Walkout Consultant: UFC 203

Fabricio Werdum

What he walked out to last: “Tema da Vitoria” – Ayrton Sena

What he should walk out next: “Olé” – Bouncing Soul

Let’s face it, the cheesy 80s instrumental for the late Ayrton Sena does not make for a good walkout. Yes, it gets F1 fans hyped to remember the late racing champion and apparent Brazilian hero, but it doesn’t really fit with Werdum and his particular strain of goofiness. So, what would work for the “Go Horse,” and keep him linked in part to something semi-Brazilian? Well, the Bouncing Souls take on the soccer anthem “Olé” is perfect! It has an easy singalong for the crowd, and heck of a lot more energy than “Tema da Vitoria.” Aren’t sure? Well just have a listen!

Jessica Eye

What she walked out to last: “Girlfight” – Brooke Valentine

What she should walk out to next: “Evil Eye” – Fu Manchu

While we must acknowledge the generic tough girl R’n’B that Jessica “Evil” Eye walked out to at UFC Fight Night 88, let us never speak of it again. It was a colossal branding failure, in my opinion. Why? Because she is Jessica “EVIL” Eye! There is already a song with that name by desert rockers Fu Manchu, and you’ve already heard it if you ever played Tony Hawk Pro Skater! It’s an uptempo rocker about a mean machine that will “erase them all.” Eye is on a three fight losing skid, and on the chopping block. What would it hurt to take a stab at making your brand more identifiable and switching it up to something a bit more rocking?

Jessica Andrade

What she walked out to last: “Lose Yourself” – Eminem

What she should walk out to next: “Authority” – Biohazard

I’ll be upfront here: I am tired of fighters walking out to Eminem. Too many do it. There are better choices out there than an over-used soundtrack single, especially for a strong grappler. It’s time for a someone with legit jiu jitsu skills like Andrade to walk out to something from a band that has been connected to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for 20 years. That band is Biohazard. You need a mid-tempo fight song? That’s “Authority” in spades.

Sean Spencer

What he walked out to last: “Cleveland is the Reason” – Kid Cudi

What he should walk out to next: “Battle Drum” – Heiroglypics

Sean Spencer’s walkout at UFC Fight Night 82 was a track that embodies a lot of what I don’t like in modern hip-hop: It was slow, had listless flows, and was just “there.” There are recent hip-hop tracks that have energy though, and even relate to combat in the cage. One of those is “Battle Drum,” by San Francisco collective Heiroglyphics. A song about throwing down mano e mano, just like Spencer does in the cage, “Battle Drum” has a RZA-esque beat with guys dropping lines like “You try to get past the Muay Thai practioner… Y’all dudes chicken: Foster Farms.” How can you not want to walk out to that?

C.B. Dollaway

What he walked out to last: “My Silver Lining” – First Aid Kit

What he should walk out to: “Gettin’ Down on the Mountain” – Corb Lund

Indie, Alt-Country, whatever you call First Aid Kit, it doesn’t make for good walkout music. In fact, it was a huge step down for one Clarence Byron Dollaway after his Shooter Jennings entrance back at UFC 186. He needs to get back to something grittier, and the perfect song for that is Corb Lund’s apocalyptic country stomper, “Gettin’ Down on the Mountain.” If you need any further proof, simply listen below.