Outside the fight business, job prospects can be grim for those who have centered their professional life around getting punched and kicked in the face. Very few of those job skills translate to the non-violent business world. Now, we were careful to say “very few,” and not “none.” Sometimes that uppity subordinate’s attitude could benefit from a controlled, yet swift single-leg takedown.
Unexpected Products Owned by UFC Fighters
However, some fighters break through the glass ceiling of the Octagon (Dana, are you reading this? Because that’s an idea we have for the Octagon) and foray into the unforgiving world of business ownership and product licensing. The results can be surprising and hilarious, or just downright confusing. The majority of which — as it is with most businesses, to be fair — fail and are forgotten. For every “Apple”, there is a “grApple.” (Actually that’s another idea of ours, Mr. White.)
Today, we’ll be looking at five such examples of businesses and products which fighters still own as of 2021.
Conor McGregor: “August McGregor”
While you’ve probably heard of McGregor’s whiskey brand, “Proper No. Twelve,” you may be less familiar with the Irishman’s clothing line, “August McGregor.”
Right off the bat, when you consider that Conor was MIA from the fight game last August, and the August before that he was punching an old man in the head for not imbibing McGregor’s aforementioned whiskey, we’re not so sure August McGregor would suit us.
Perusing the product page, you can find sweat pants, t-shirts, ill-fitting denim jackets, and our favorite, a COVID mask adorned with McGregor’s chest tattoo. Here’s an MMASucka money-saving tip: If you want McGregor’s chest near your mouth, hang out at a Dublin strip club and save yourself the 25 smackeroos.
Dustin Poirier: Poirier’s Louisiana Style Hot Sauce
The yin to McGregor’s yang, and the fist to McGregor’s face — Dustin Poirier happens to have a product of his own. “Poirier’s Louisiana Style Hot Sauce” is a spicy love letter to his roots in Lafayette, and due to a mix of his recent fame and his involvement with hot sauce, the YouTube series “Hot Ones” recently announced Dustin will be featured in their upcoming 14th season.
Dustin’s hot sauce is on the milder side of the spice spectrum and serves up only 10 calories per serving, which, interestingly, is the same number of calories it takes to walk away from a man lying crumpled against a cage.
Brendan Schaub: “Pure Spectrum CBD”
In a video published by “Impaulsive Clips” in December of 2018, Schaub tells a story of how CBD ‘saved his son’s life.’ The tale begins with his son having a medical emergency upon being taken out of a bath in which he “started seizing up and his lips turned blue.” Schaub, utilizing the full extent of his critical thinking, chalked this up to a brain freeze and took no action. It happened again three days later and Schaub seemed to imply in the video that he again took no action until it happened a third time, while he was out on the road doing stand-up comedy. His son had a serious seizure and was hospitalized and ultimately prescribed medication.
Luckily, Schaub was subsequently advised on the internet (possibly by someone named Karen) not to give his son the medication, but to instead administer him CBD oil. Schaub said his son has never had a seizure since. Logan Paul, sitting adjacent to Schaub, was touched. Schaub later became co-owner of Pure Spectrum CBD.
From their website, Pure Spectrum CBD claims to be “A high-potency phytocannabinoid wellness product for high-intensity athletes.” Not listed there is the fun factoid that if you mainline 100 times the recommended dosage of Pure Spectrum, Brendan Schaub’s standup actually becomes funny. [Note: Our legal team reviewed the previous statement and forced us to say it contains harmful advice that could get us in trouble. DO NOT under any circumstance watch Brendan Schaub’s standup.]
Keith Jardine: Caveman Coffee
In the fighting world, Keith Jardine is probably best remembered either for his upset win over Chuck Liddell, or his upsettingly violent loss to Houston “Houston Alexander is For Real” Alexander.
In the non-fighting world, he is best known for his various acting roles. He’s been killed by John Wick, choke-slammed by Hank Schrader in Breaking Bad, and he’s even kissed Joaquin Phoenix on the cheek (but I guess we’re taking that out of context).
However, Jardine’s inclusion here comes not from his impressive acting credits, but rather, from his co-founding of “Caveman Coffee Co.” Caveman Coffee Co.’s website greets you with a picture of someone’s bare hands holding up a mound of filthy coffee beans. (Post-COVID marketing is a tricky landscape.) Their website sells everything from coffee and tea to clothing and — written on the website as eloquently as a caveman would phrase it — ”Mugs and Stuff.”
Ronda Rousey: Max Effort Muscle
Information is somewhat scant on this one, but we were able to locate a since-deleted web page (we viewed Google’s Cached version) on Max Effort Muscle’s website, in which an Instagram post shows Rousey espousing the virtues of a Max Effort post-workout beverage she describes as “tasting like Purple Drank.”
“It’s like healthy Purple Drank,” she says. “It’s like fucking angel bathwater.” (Insert your own confusion here.)
She also says she is part owner of the company, and Google still displays the fossils of a Ronda Rousey Series of Max Muscle supplements which their official website no longer features. There was a Ronda Rousey fat burner, a Ronda Rousey probiotic, a Ronda Rousey protein powder, and a Ronda Rousey baking mix which appears to have been identical to the company’s original baking mix, save for the scoop size being 30% smaller.
Considering Max Muscle scrubbed Rousey’s product line and involvement from their website, she may no longer retain her previous ownership stake. Ronda Rousey (can you believe this? We couldn’t believe it) did not reply to our tweet for clarification.
